


grow as we go

by httpsuh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cameos, Comfort/Angst, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Angst, boyfriend-not boyfriend stuff, more cuddling and domestic shit, they're complicated ok, yuta is one understanding mf, yuwin, yuwin deserve a happy ending ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23509543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpsuh/pseuds/httpsuh
Summary: "we'll take it slowand grow as we go"Sicheng needed space, Yuta gave him that, for more than a month and the members feel the need to interfere so they could ease the awkward air whenever they happen to stood in the same room.long story short, everyone left them alone to get their shit done
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Kudos: 38





	grow as we go

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to ben platt's grow as we go and hence the whole plot even though it didn't really match the meaning of the song that ben himself told to the fans lmao enjoy (stan ben Platt)

It was all awkward silence when Yuta happens to meet Sicheng on his way to get him from the wayv dorms.

It’s been a month, a long time indeed since they talked, he got updates about that boy’s activity through Ten who’s kind enough, some other times Yangyang, some other times Jaehyun who still happens to hangout with him all the time.

He felt how the both of them happens to stopped in place at the same time, didn’t even know what to do, he only smiled. “Oh, Sicheng, h-hi,” those stuttering weren’t suppose to happen if only their condition weren’t as complicated as this.

When Yuta looked at him, he’s still the same boy he used to cuddle at night, the boy who he like to tease and order around as he watch his face frowns cutely.

He haven’t really change.

“Hi, Yuta,” those short sentences hurt him, Sicheng would usually smile, as bright as how the sun would, maybe he could even put the sun down to shame he never know. “You cut your hair, it looks good on you,”

“O-oh! This, yeah, thanks Sicheng, you looked good today too,”

Sicheng laughs. “I don’t even do my makeup today what do you mean i look good?”

Yuta just stood silent as he plays along and laughs, he still looks gorgeous, he never not.

“So, uh, you wanna stay in our dorm? It’s kinda lonely because everyone else is gone,” it’s an attempt, at least if they’re really done after Sicheng said he needed space a month ago, let him at least stay in the same room cause it’s suffocating. “I’m cooking too, and i don’t wanna eat alone.”

SIcheng laughs. “Since when you can cook?” he hopped, stepping closer and his step rythmed with Yutas. “The last thing i remember about you cooking is that you almost burned my frying pan.”

“Excuse you then what was that pancake i gave you as a morning birthday gift huh? Does that not validate my cooking skill improvements?”

“I have to witness it with my own eyes before judging you know.”

Yuta giggle, ah yes, at least they can have these kind of conversation. “Sure, sure, what you say,” he sighs, putting the both of his hands inside his pocket as he continue to walk towards the dorm building.

When they enter the dorm, Sicheng smiled. “The dorm changed a lot after i moved out,” he said. “You still has those anime cassettes? I miss kimi no nawa,”

Yuta smiled from the kitchen as he watches the boy walks around the room rummaging through the shelves. “Where did you put them? You didn’t throw them away don’t you? I swear i’ll kill you if you do,” Sicheng’s voice heard yelling from the other room made Yuta laughs. “Of course i didn’t, it’s on my box, the usual orange one with my name on it.”

Sicheng crouches, smiling happily as he founds the thing he’d been looking for. “Found it!” he exclaimed happily, pulling out the box filled with things he didn’t know what are, clicking open the lid he found a lot of things that made him go nostalgic.

Yuta still kept that stinky socks he gave him two years ago, the bunch of piling polaroids of them, this man still kept all the things he gave him, even the most simplest one.

Even the poor writing of his name in kanji, he was the one who wrote the kanji on his box.

It made him smile. “When are you going to throw the stinky socks i gave you away?” he asks, faintly hearing all the stoves turned on and the fridge door slam shut and open back and forth, heard all the voice of chopping, how the knives hitting the cutboard. Yuta on the kitchen scoffs. “I can’t do it, maybe another lifetime,”

“You got to be kidding me, you still kept the things i gave you, on god even this poorly made doll too i hate you.”

Yuta laughed outloud hearing Sicheng growled as he sees the poorly stitched doll he made as a gift for his second debut anniversary, as he stirs the food on the frying pan.

Sicheng walked out of the room leaning on the walkway watching Yuta with his apron cooking, he smiled, they used to tease him with his cooking skill and he’d teamed up with Taeil, now he even uses an apron to cook, what an improvement. “Did taeyong taught you to cook? Or is it Jaehyun?”

“Excuse me sir i taught myself to cook.”

“Guessed close enough,” Sicheng shrugs, stepping closer to Yuta with his apron. “What are you cooking?” he leans closer, ended up in disappointment because he’s cooking an easy dish, he frowned. “I thought you were making something special turns out it’s only a kimchi stew.”

“Hey you can’t discredit my hard work like that,” Yuta flicked the younger’s head softly. “If you don’t want it i eat it myself and share the remaining with mark.”

When Sicheng suddenly turned around and took over the bowl by himself, Yuta scoffs, he’s hungry afterall.

The both of them sat in the living room, Yuta got the cassettes and blankets ready since it’s pretty cold, while Sicheng sat himself down and staring at the bowl with watery mouth, Yuta’s room was never the tidiest but it’s comfy, to Sicheng’s standard.

When Yuta was done, they sat side by side, Sicheng occupying the blankets and the stew while Yuta sat stealing glance to his side, there Sicheng is with the unchanging smile of his whenever he’s watching this anime with him, knees curled up to his chest hes wrapped in a blanket, Yuta took a pic of it and put it in a secret folder.

“Did you just sneakily took a pic of me?” Sicheng turned, with an annoyed face. “Delete it i look ugly!” he moved away from his seat, trying to reach Yuta who had moved to the sofa, the both of them ran around the room with Yuta jumping from place to place trying to get his phone away from the taller man.

In the end, Sicheng got him, it need a little bit of effort to strangle him on the sofa with Sicheng on the top of Yuta trying to steal the phone away.

“Delete it!” the man frowns, cutely,  _ he still looks cute how the hell did he do that  _ Yuta thought as he giggle. “Should i say yes? because i don’t feel threatened at all by your so called scary frown.”

“Yutaaa~”

Yuta’s arm flung out of the armchairs, still trying to not get his phone taken away he pinched Sicheng’s cheek. “No, i won’t delete it.”

“Yuta i looked ugly!”

The elder frowns now, disagreeing with the younger’s words. “What do you mean, you look like a cute chick i love it, it’s cute!”

They stay like that for a while, Sicheng is light, though taller, so Yuta didn’t mind him on top of his lying body.

They end up watching the rest of Kimi No Nawa in that position.

At the end of the movie Yuta made two hot chocolate as they watch the rain pour outside the window, Sicheng love rains, so he leans to the window attentively listening to the voices of the rains hitting the ground. “Yuta, when will they return?” the younger asks, his gaze still locked to the view of raindrops dropping and the voices it made.

“I don’t know either Sicheng, they left without a word and suddenly here we are,” Yuta took a stroll around his room trying to find something to play, to do, he don’t know, he still can’t sat beside him without feeling awkward for one another.

Until then he found out that Mark left his guitar in his room.

He hopped as he took the guitar with him. “Sicheng look what i found!” he exclaimed, taking Sichengs attention away from the window, he tilted his head. “Ain’t that Mark’s guitar? Why is it here?”

“He left it, it’s been here forever i think, i don’t know,” Yuta sat not far from where the younger is sitting, plucking on the guitar, making random melodies, before then SIcheng said. “Play something i wanna see you play.”

“Huh?”

Sicheng smiled accross the room. “It’s been… long enough, i miss your singing voice even though i replayed white night a lot of times when people weren’t watching,”

The both of them then turned quiet.

Faintly, but surely, Sicheng heard Yuta plucking the guitar, so he turned away from the view outside, looking at Yuta and that familiar view of him that remind him of when he was trying to learn guitar but end up laughing at his side.

_ You said there’s so much you don’t know. _

_ You need to go and find yourself. _

He remembered the first time he requested to be alone, Yuta was confused, he didn’t know what did he do wrong and when he lashes out like that he did what he did, always.

Comforting him with a tight warm hug, they’d end up cuddling until midnight while Yuta listens to all of his complains, wrapped and crushed together in a small blanket because Yuta always bought his blanket matching with his height.

_ You said you’d rather be alone _

_ Cause you don’t think you’d find it tied to someone else. _

“I think we need a break,” that was the most heartbreaking sentence Yuta have ever heard coming out from someone as sweet as Sicheng.

It wasn’t any day better than any other, it was exhausting, he just came back from China and Yuta is exhausted from all the training and preparations of comebacks. “Why?” Yuta tried to understand, just like always.

“I need to… you know, find myself and growing up… stuff.”

_ Ooh who said it’s true? _

“You don’t have to leave for that though,” he attempted, to convince him to stay. “you can find it with me, right?”

But even without him receiving the answer to his question, Yuta had already guessed, from his expression alone, the uncomfortable shifts Sicheng made.

“It won’t work out if i’m with you.”

_ That the growing only happens when you’re on your own. _

And so people started to say that they broke up, like, really, for real. No one really know the truth aside from Ten and Lucas who stuck with Sicheng most of the time and Taeyong, who’d willingly listen to Yuta, later on Jaehyun too, and Yangyang.

Those days the both of them spent separated, was the most awkward one they had, even when the company helds a meeting they had to separate Sicheng from Yuta and make sure the two are not in each other’s range of sight.

If the members can say they fought, they don’t, they never really fought.

But Yuta would rather fought with him rather than being given a silent treatment for a whole month.

Right now, Sicheng could only sat as he listens to Yuta singing, his voice sounds so soothing he didn’t even know how he did that, some other times he steal glances to the fingers flicking the guitar strings.

The earlier cold room weren’t as cold as earlier now.

_ I don't know who we'll become _

_ I can't promise it's not written in the stars _

“How long are you going to ignore him like that?”

It was a dinner with Jaehyun, someone finally brought it up, Jaehyun was finishing his meal while Sicheng was still waiting for his. “He said it’s fine if you find someone else and he had to move on,” Sicheng gaze shifted from the table whose skin his flicking on, to Jaehyun. “Honestly he’d look like he’d trather be told to move on and that you find someone else than you treating him like this, it’s awkward for us too you know.”

“I just need time, okay? I’ll do it after i’m finish with myself.”

Yeah, just a little time, a little time until he can make sure that staying with Yuta won’t hurt that man, that staying with Yuta won’t damage him, that he’ll be okay with him, that he didn’t took Yuta for granted whatsoever.

Jaehyun looked at him absent-mindedly.

“...I understood, i think, you know that used to happen to me too.”

“Thanks, Jae.”

Little did he know that Jaehyun told Yuta everything that he guessed might have passed his mind when they talk that night.

_ But I believe that when it's done _

_ We're gonna see that it was better _

Those two sentences remind Sicheng of what Yuta told him after he out with Jaehyun to eat dinner.

“I don’t mind Sicheng, and it’s alright,” he said on the phone that night, on the voice message to be precise, cause he didn’t answer his call. “You didn’t hurt me when you stayed with me, in fact i was grateful you hold on with me.”

Sicheng could always tell from how Yuta spoke how in love that man is for him.

“And you don’t have to astray to grow, you can do it with me, we can do it together, you can change right next to me,” his voice muffled with heavy sighs. “I’ll take your lows when you’re high, we’ll take it slow.”

_ “Besides, you’re going to see that it was much better,” _

_ That we grow up together _

_ “When we grow up together.” _

Yuta stopped midway when he heard a sniff, Sicheng unconsciously shed a tear, he didn’t even know why he did, but he did. Sicheng looked away. “Ah, i’m- i’m sorry,” he said, wiping his tears. “I’m a mess right now your song is making me sad.”

Yuta scoffs, shifting closer to the sniffling SIcheng. “Why are you sad? Is it because of the rain? Should i yell at them?”

Though sad Sicheng can definitely hit him. “No you silly dumbfuck just stay here.”

_ Tell me you don’t want to leave. _

Yuta sat awkwadly by Sicheng’s side, watching him trying to collect himself without being able to do anything is torturing, sometimes he provide tissues for him, sometimes he awkwardly pat Sicheng’s back before taking his hand back.

It was a quite a calm moment before. “Was that song… for me?”

Yuta stay silent.

He didn’t really thought of it as a song he sang because he’s there or whatsoever, he knew this song not so long ago and it reminded him of SIcheng…

Mayhaps he did sang this song for him to hear.

Yuta smiled, scratching his neck awkwardly. “You liked it?” he asks, as he then shifts closer. “It reminds me of you when we’re apart.”

Sicheng laughs. “I do, Yuta i do,” still muffled with sniffs his gaze shifts lower to the floor, his fingers fiddle with an undone thread of Yutas blanket. “Sorry, for everything, i don’t really have a reason to leave you and then come back as if it never happened, didn’t i?”

“Jaehyun told me everything you little chick,” now Yuta is brave enough to brush his finger over Sicheng’s trace of tears. “Why would you think i’d leave or our relationship would fall apart after years of being together?”

“I don’t know it’s just a weird thought when my head is acting up.”

_ Cause if change is what you need _

_ You can change right next to me. _

“Sicheng, look at me,” Yuta collect his remaining courage to cup Sicheng’s face in his hand, so their eyes met each other, Sicheng’s eyes were puffy red. “Was this what you mean by you need some time alone? Is this what you meant by that you can’t figure yourself out when i’m around? Cause i can tell it’s a weird reason to take a break.”

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s embarrassing,” Sicheng pulled away, well, at least he attempted to, Yutas grip were too strong so he gave up, sighing, surrendering to the dominating strength the other has SIcheng earned a soft giggle from the older. “Answer my question young man is it or is it not?”

It took a little time to made Sicheng nod.

Yuta sighs, pulling the younger’s face closer to his he places a peck on Sicheng’s forehead. “God, Dong Sicheng… “

_ When you're high, I'll take the lows. _

“We’ve been together for years now, you should’ve known better i could handle all of your bullshit and antiques more than you thought i can handle,” their foreheads connected with one another, yuta brushes his finger on the back of Sicheng’s hand. “Now don’t cry like that you gonna make me cry too you know i can’t watch you cry.”

Sicheng’s face scrunched as he tried to laugh in between his runny nose and broken voice due to crying, he sniffles, reaching out Yuta’s other empty hand squeezing it as if there’s no other day that he would.

“Can we start over?”

_ You can ebb and I can flow. _

“I’d start over anytime you want me to, Sicheng you know that well.”

The both of them pulled away before Yuta pulled Sicheng in his arms. “I’d give you a chance one thousand times more than you thought i would, until i got tired of you, that is, and i’m pretty sure that won’t happen in the near future.”

Sicheng snuggled inside those arms, trying to find the perfect spot to lean then he hid himself on the crook of Yutas neck, tearing up, maybe, his sniffles were muffled because he hid there and Yuta chuckles. “Sicheng it tickles.”

A short silence occur, a comfortable silence after long period of awkward standing in the same room not being able to speak even a word to each other, cause one thinking that it’s better to leave them and gave him the space he needed and one thinking he were probably got tired of him by now.

Sicheng rose, looking at Yuta with red eyes due to crying. “You sure you won’t got tired of me? Even in the near four years? You really sure about that?”

“Dong freaking Sicheng we were together for almost over five years now and everyone is sure as hell knew how whipped i am for you what are you talking about?”

“You don’t understand Yuta, you haven’t seen the real worst of me,” the moment Sicheng pulled away Yuta turned serious. “I mean, i fucked up, i’m fucked up,”

The older snorts. “I fucked up too, you’re not that special,” he took the both of Sicheng’s hand back to his grip. “We all are humans, and it’s okay to fucked up cause we all have flaws.”

“You really think you can take it?”

“I’ve been dealing with you since the first time we met Sicheng, i’ve seen your ups and downs, of course i do.”

Sicheng gave up, he leans inside Yuta’s arm once more trying to find the warmth that used to wrap him tightly, the comfort he’s too familiar with but just can’t get enough of, they ended up cuddling, while Yuta caresses Sicheng’s hair giving it soft kisses.

“Let’s start over,” Sicheng murmur.

_ We’ll take it slow. _

“This time i won’t runaway like that again.”

“You promise?”

“I do.”

_ And grow as we go. _

  
  
  
  



End file.
